My husband and I are expecting our first bundle of joy in April, and while we are both overjoyed to start our family, I am a little nervous about keeping our flame burning. I’m trying to brace him---and myself!---for mood swings and being tired, but I know it’s important to stay romantic during these 9 months. Do you have any intimacy tips that don’t involve my hubby running to Walmart at 3am for “pickles and ice cream?” Thanks Angela! --Suzette
Suzette, congratulations! You have the most important and rewarding job ever about to be bestowed upon you. As you share the joys and responsibilities of parenthood for the first time, you will forge a bond with each other that only you two will have.
Pregnancy puts your body and hormones through many changes. There will be times that you won’t feel sexual in the slightest, and times when your hormones are raging like a teenager’s and all you will think about is sex. (Hello, second trimester!)
But what you should keep in mind is that during this time “sex” is not the only way to connect with your partner. Intimacy is what is important. Your relationship will take on an entirely new dynamic with the introduction of another person into your family. Use the quiet moments now to talk to each other about your hopes and dreams for the future, for your family, and for your unborn child.
The most valuable advice I can give you to keep your intimacy alive is to deepen your partnership and commitment to each other.
Have you ever seen that terrible movie “Made of Honor” with Patrick Dempsey? Dempsey’s character IS my best guy friend. A player, smooth talker, cheater (when it comes to relationships with other women), but has always been my rock and confidant. I’ve probably been quietly in love with him for two years (while dating others) and for maybe the first time his flirting seems sincere. Do I finally bite and tell him how I feel? I don’t want to rip some poor schlub’s heart our on the alter should he come after me… --S.
S, If you never tell him how you feel, you won’t know if he feels the same way. It’s scary opening yourself up for rejection, right? But you know what’s even more frightening? Watching your best friend fall in love with someone else because you never told him your true feelings. I can’t guarantee this will have a fairytale ending, but you have to try…you have to try. Tell him how you feel.
Angela, can guys and girls ever be friends? --Harry and Sally
Dear Harry and Sally, yes. But it’s not always going to be easy. Inevitably one or both of you will develop feelings for the other, but, as the gods of romance and fate would have it, ironically those feelings usually don’t occur at the same time.
So does this mean we should never be friends in the first place? Not necessarily. Opposite sex friendships provide a sounding board, a point of view, and a comfort that we can’t get from a friend that shares our anatomy. A large part of any relationship, romantic or otherwise, is the enjoyment we receive from being in another’s company. But as Harry famously said in the movie, “The sex part always gets in the way.”
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin
On her popular blog, www.essentiallyangela.com, divorced single mom Angela Lutin dispenses musings on life, raising a teen, navigating the single scene, and tips to stay sexy regardless of your age or relationship status. A social media addict, she recently launched her new weekly Twitter conversation @essentiallyang—aptly titled #sexychat—that answers dating, sex-related topics and anything in between. Angela’s "Naked Truth" dating advice column appears weekly on Bocamag.com and also exclusively in Boca Raton magazine. Follow Angela on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/EssentiallyAngela or Twitter, https://twitter.com/essentiallyang.