Hi Angela, my boyfriend never says my name when we are having sex. Not once. Not ever. Should I be concerned? I feel like that’s fishy. --My name is Jennifer
Dear What’s her face, As long as he’s not saying someone else’s name, I see no reason why this is a big deal. You’d have to give me a lot more evidence to suggest he’s stepping out on you.
Everyone’s bedroom style is different. As a couple, you get to explore what works, what doesn’t, and what really turns each of you on. If hearing your own name whispered softly in your ear when you are in the throws of passion is incredibly sexy for you, then ask him to say your name. It’s no different than asking him to touch you a certain way.
If you are in a sexual relationship with someone, you should be comfortable talking about your wants and needs in and out of the bedroom.
Just ask him to say your name, Jennifer.
Angela, my co-worker recently got engaged to her boyfriend of two years. I am trying to be happy for her, but I’ve been hinting to my guy for four years that I’d love to start my life with him. I just feel jealous and sulky. How can I be happy for her? How can I get my guy to commit? --R.L.
Ms. Sour Grapes,
Jealousy is the tackiest of outfits.
Your co-worker’s happiness is not contingent upon your own. Wish her congratulations, then smile and nod as she obsessively recounts what a difficult decision she had choosing between burgundy or navy for her J. Crew bridesmaids dresses. She’s excited, as she should be. Don’t take that away from her by being a Debbie Downer.
As for your own guy, have you discussed marriage? Four years in a committed and exclusive relationship is enough time to know if you are ready to take the next step. Without turning it into a threat, it is acceptable to give your guy a time limit and put him on notice. Let him know that [insert timeframe- no less than 6 months but no more than twelve] you would like to be engaged or you will move on with your life without him. But don’t be like the boy who cried wolf. If you give an ultimatum, you have to be willing to follow through if he doesn’t comply.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin:
Angela Lutin is Essentially Angela. Blogger, Advice Columnist and Dating Guru for the social media age—decoding modern love one tweet, text, and like at a time. Angela’s weekly dating advice column, The Naked Truth, appears exclusively in Boca Raton magazine. Her work appears regularly on the Huffington Post. She can been seen on MTV’s "Made" and Bravo’s hit show, "Millionaire Matchmaker." Crafting personal dating makeovers for her clients, Angela also maintains a private practice, which turns the romantically challenged into the relationship-inclined. Follow Angela on Facebook, facebook.com/EssentiallyAngela or Twitter, @essentiallyang.