Angela, I’ve been through a series of bad relationships, and I’m starting to realize that I would be perfectly content with never getting married. My family keeps pushing me, saying that when I find the right person, I’ll know and change my mind. How do I tell them to politely back off and let me live my life? - Happily Single
Dear Happily Single,
It’s your life. You create the story, and that story may have Prince Charming attached to it or The Seven Dwarfs. That’s really up to you, not your family. Why do you have this notion that you have to be “polite” when addressing this with them? One stern admonishment from you that you ARE content and you do love your life at this very moment, with or without whatever it is they think is missing, is all it will take for them to back off.
Congratulations on writing your own script. Too many people sell their dreams for the collective dreams of the majority. If we all did what made us happy, we’d all be...happy.
P.S. If you do meet the right person (see my next answer) you can certainly change your mind. That’s the brilliance of this whole life thing. There’s no expiration date on changing your mind.
Is there really such a thing as meeting “The One?” - Skeptical
Yes...with a caveat. There is more than one person that any one of us could establish a meaningful, long term relationship. So let’s believe in “The Ones” rather than “The One,” shall we? It’s rather depressing to work with the assumption there is a single solitary person walking the face of this earth that any one of us could partner with and not want to stick a fork in their jugular after 20 years.
But let’s address your question:
You are a better person because of them. It can be anything from reminding you to pick your clothes up off the floor to contemplating the meaning of life. They make you grow.
Not only do they make you grow, they allow you to grow. The One doesn’t hold you back out of fear of losing you, but rather encourages you to be the best version of yourself you possible can.
The One is the last thought in your head before you go to sleep and the first thought when you awaken.
Best friend, Love, Confidante, Advisor, Partner, and Playmate. If they fill all of these rolls, chances are good that you’ve met The One.
But most importantly, The One is a choice. They are neither a possession or obsession. You choose each other because you just go together...like peanut butter and jelly, champagne and caviar, a lock and its key. You fit.
It may be obvious; it may be hidden. It may look like everyone else or it may be a complete departure from the norm. It might be found when you are searching intensely or at that moment you least expect it. But when your gut tells, “This is it” take notice. I said there was more than a single “The One” but I didn’t say they would show up on every corner.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin:
Angela Lutin is Essentially Angela. Blogger, Advice Columnist and Dating Guru for the social media age—decoding modern love one tweet, text, and like at a time. Angela’s dating advice column, "The Naked Truth," appears exclusively each week on bocamag.com and in each issue of Boca Ratonmagazine. Her work appears regularly on the Huffington Post. She can been seen on MTV’s "Made" and Bravo’s hit show, "Millionaire Matchmaker." Crafting personal dating makeovers for her clients, Angela also maintains a private practice, which turns the romantically challenged into the relationship-inclined. Follow Angela on Facebook or Twitter.