Settle a bet for me, Angela. My friend and I are both online daters. She feels you stick it out for the entire date, even if you know there is zero chemistry with the guy. I say, you come clean, tell the guy it isn’t working, and leave. Who’s right? -The Cyber Queens
Cyber Queens, quitters never win and winners never quit.
Let’s say your first date is dinner at a nice restaurant. The ambiance is great, but you look across the table and know there is a snowball’s chance in hell that you will ever go out with this guy again. (I have actually had this scenario happen several times.) Unless the man is rude or demeaning to you, my feeling is you stay. Yes, online dating is about meeting someone who you would want a relationship with, but a bonus is also meeting new and interesting people. Sometimes there are really cool people that wind up in the friend column rather that the “I’d like to see you naked” category. I use dates with no chemistry to practice flirting as well as practice my listening skills. Many of them have given me great content for my blog or introduced me to their male friends with whom I did have chemistry. Look at it like this: nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I loved your answer about “hooking up” [The Naked Truth Vol 6]; you’re so right! Ask 10 people what it means, you’ll get 10 different answers. Is there more modern dating slang that you can clarify for us? -Sara
Sara, Dating decoded 101. Here are my top ten:
Suitor- A man putting on his best game trying to get a woman he’s enamored with to date him.
Lady Cave- Divorced woman’s domain. Typically she doesn’t leave it without a really good excuse. Many bottles of wine meet their end at this location.
Manwhores- Assholes that are excellent in bed. Talent in the bedroom is their only redeeming quality.
Prospect- A potential love interest.
Seedplanting- Mind games with a prospect to field how much interest they have in you.
Sloth- An individual that takes far too long to get ready for a date. Always late and will cause long-term angst over repeated tardiness.
Degenerate- Someone who you’ve (regrettably) slept with but must create distance. You find out too late that they do not have their act together and could be a potential stalker and/or mentally unstable.
Unmentionables- A person you are having a sexual relationship with but you don’t want anyone to know about. Different from a Degenerate in that you might make the mistake of being seen with a Degenerate in public but would never go further than the bedroom or kitchen counter with an Unmentionable.
Woody Bantering- Text conversation between two parties that leaves both aroused and wanting more. Works best if only subtly sexual in nature.
Sexting- Overt sexually charged texts that include pictures and graphic descriptions. Should be avoided when alcohol is involved.
What turns you on? - Michael
Power. Short men. Expensive shoes. Alpha Males. A challenge.
PS- If you’re a powerful Alpha Male that relishes in buying me expensive shoes, I’m willing to overlook excessive height.
About Angela Lutin
Angela Lutin has won the adoration and loyalty of her riders at Flywheel Sports in Boca, where she has emerged as the most sought-after indoor cycling instructor in South Florida. In her spare time, the divorced single mom has launched a popular dating blog—essentiallyangela.com—on which she dispenses musings on life, navigating the singles scene and much more. Angela will answer your dating questions every Thursday at bocamag.com on her “The Naked Truth” blog, which she is doing exclusively for Boca Raton magazine. “A chef is the expert on food, a stylist knows the right clothes,” she says. “And me? I'm the one you come to for questions about love, sex, and relationships. I’m certainly experimenting to find the right formula every day.”