My girlfriends all go through their significant others’ phones to check their messages occasionally. I always told them they were crazy, and that was over the top – but now that I’m getting into a serious relationship, I feel the urge to do it too … is it wrong to be curious? – Admitting I’m a hypocrite
You asked for it. That’s my response when someone tells me they found (insert whatever terrible offense they uncovered) while invading a partner’s privacy. If we don’t have trust in a relationship, then really, what do we have? It’s never ok to go through someone’s personal things without their knowledge. In your situation, there’s not even a suspicion of any wrongdoing, just curiosity. Quite frankly, that conveys very troubling insight to how you and girlfriends conduct yourselves in relationships. You don’t respect the most basic right that anyone has: privacy.
If you don’t respect his privacy, you really don’t respect him.
I started talking to someone thinking we may hit it off, but now I’ve lost interest. How do I break it off without hurting her feelings? – Mr. Nice Guy
Mr. Nice Guy,
You do it today. Rip the band aid off. It’s your call whether or not you want to tell her the truth or make up something that’s not as harsh, but don’t lead her on any further if you know you aren’t interested.
I’m sure that you are hoping that your lack of response or evasiveness will just allow her to get the hint and fade off into the sunset. That would be the easy way, right? It’s also The Coward’s way. If you truly are a “Nice” guy, a nice guy will break it to her immediately so she can release that space she’s holding for you and perhaps find someone else who is interested in her.
P.S. Pick up the phone and call her. DO NOT deliver the news via text. (See coward comment above).
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About Angela Lutin:
Angela Lutin is Essentially Angela. Blogger, Advice Columnist and Dating Guru for the social media age—decoding modern love one tweet, text, and like at a time. Angela’s dating advice column, "The Naked Truth," appears exclusively each week on bocamag.com and in each issue of Boca Ratonmagazine. Her work appears regularly on the Huffington Post. She can been seen on MTV’s "Made" and Bravo’s hit show, "Millionaire Matchmaker." Crafting personal dating makeovers for her clients, Angela also maintains a private practice, which turns the romantically challenged into the relationship-inclined. Follow Angela on Facebook or Twitter.