Do you have a dating dilemma for Angela? Send your question to email@example.com, and it may appear in an upcoming installment of “The Naked Truth.” Angela’s blog will appear every Thursday—only at bocamag.com!
I’m 44, recently divorced and new to Boca. Online dating isn’t my thing; I like to go out and meet people. What should I know about the men I’m going to meet locally?
The type of men you’ll meet in Boca will run the gamut. Unfortunately, the dating scene is full of frogs masquerading as princes. Kissing frogs gets old really fast, and frogs carry warts.
The places you frequent, Tracy, will determine the kind of men you will meet. We’ll assume, as a 44-year-old woman, that you are interested in the executive type and not the guy in a football jersey looking for the next $1 beer special. So check out the happy hours at higher end restaurants—steak houses like New York Prime, Chops Lobster Bar and Morton’s are hot spots where eligible men like to gather.
Men are intimidated by groups of women, so do not show up with a posse. Make plans to meet a girlfriend at 6 p.m.—then, arrive an hour earlier and find a seat at the bar. Order an appetizer and drink, bringing along work or a book to keep you occupied. Be approachable. This is key. Take time to check out the room as the happy hour crowd files in, and be friendly to the bartenders. Most importantly, if you do see someone that interests you, make eye contact and smile. Don’t forget, he may not end up being your type, but he could have a friend who is! You are new to town. Networking and meeting friends should be as much of a priority as ... avoiding frogs!
As a fitness instructor, perhaps you can settle a debate for me. My friend thinks it’s creepy when guys approach her at the gym. I’m fine with it. Who’s right?
Emily, you both are right. If you enjoy working out and staying healthy, meeting someone at the gym is logical; you share a very important common interest. That said, there are ways to discourage guys from hitting on you at the gym if you are only interested in the workout.
Rule 1: Have an Ipod. If you are zoned into your music, it’s much easier to ignore the loser preening in the mirror beside you.
Rule 2: If you dress like a hooker, you attract sleaze-balls. You know you have a hot body; that’s reward enough for your hard work. Unless you want every guy in the gym sizing you up like a cheetah eyeing a small antelope, dress slightly more modestly while working out. Save the risqué attire for the bedroom.
Rule 3: No matter how standoffish you may be, some guys may still take a swing at you. Smile politely, and make it clear that your very large bodybuilder/police officer/recently paroled boyfriend is crazy possessive so it’s probably not a good idea to carry on a conversation with you because you are fairly certain he is having you followed. You won’t have any issues in the gym moving forward after the word spreads.
If you do meet someone, and sparks fly, remember that certain private workouts do have cardio benefits (plus, sex is much more fun than the treadmill).
I started dating a nice middle-aged man, but I just wasn’t feeling that spark. On our last date, we met his younger brother at the Dubliner, and I felt an instant connection to him. How do I end it with someone and then ask out his brother without creating a major problem?
What the hell is wrong with you, Angie? You’re not a guest star on “As the World Turns”; this is real life. Ever heard the saying “bros before hos?” That usually applies to friends, but, trust me, it also applies to actual brothers! If you believe in karma, don’t hit on the hot little brother.
If you can’t shake the feeling that small fry is your soul mate (and I’m sensing that there is an 80 percent chance you’re going to do it anyway), consider this: He may not be so quick to jump on your Kismet train. You did make out with his big brother, right? That’s a major ick factor for baby bro.
Still leaning toward hanging out at the Dubliner until you run into him again? Play out the scenario in your head. Think about Thanksgiving. Imagine being passed the gravy by the brother you used to be with ... while the brother you’re currently with looks on. Suspiciously. That might be fun for the rest of us to watch, but c’mon. Soap opera dramas are better left for television.
About Angela Lutin
Angela Lutin has won the adoration and loyalty of her riders at Flywheel Sports in Boca, where she has emerged as one of the most sought-after indoor cycling instructors in South Florida. In her spare time, the divorced single mom has launched a popular dating blog—essentiallyangela.com—on which she dispenses musings on life, navigating the singles scene and much more. Angela will answer your dating questions every Thursday at bocamag.com on her “The Naked Truth” blog, which she is doing exclusively for Boca Raton magazine. “A chef is the expert on food, a stylist knows the right clothes,” she says. “And me? I'm the one you come to for questions about love, sex, and relationships. I’m certainly experimenting to find the right formula every day.”