Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Naked Truth, Vol. 77: Dating Questions

Angela, I go to Max’s happy hour every Thursday, and I’ve developed a huge crush on the bartender. How should I let him know I’m interested? – Secret Admirer

Dear Secret Admirer,

Being a hot bartender at one of the most popular restaurants in town in equivalent to being Gene Simmons when KISS was on the road.  Ever heard that Billy Squier song, “Everybody Wants You”?  Yeah, probably written about a bartender.

There’s something about the way he remembers your name, that smile … and the fact his cocktails are on the strong side can affect your judgment too.

Here’s the deal. He gets hit on night after night, multiple times a night. Don’t take the pedestrian approach and follow suit.  It won’t work.  So how then, do you let him know you’re interested?  Believe me, he knows.  You sit at his bar every Thursday giving him the sex eyes – he knows.

The only way to land a bartender is outside the bar.  The key to moving this crush to a possibility is having him see you in a light other than the one shining over the barstool. Talk to him about his workouts or which beach he frequents, where he goes on his night off and what he does for fun.

If he’s digging you back, he’ll ask you to join him once he realizes you are interested in more than just his bartender persona. (Again, IF he is into you.)

You need to remember, for him, this is WORK.  Flirting with you, making sure your drink is kept full etc.- is his JOB. Don’t read too much into it.

My boyfriend of three years has recently had recurring dreams about me cheating on him. I have zero intention of doing so, but he’s gotten so paranoid. How do I console him? – Devoted Girlfriend

Dear DG,

Umm, perhaps you tell him to chill out? I’m a firm believer in the Law of Attraction, meaning what we put out into the Universe is what comes back to us.  If your boyfriend keeps putting out these thoughts of you cheating/leaving him, guess what’s going to manifest? Yep, you’ll be out the door before you know what hit you.

Whatever is going on is his internal struggle. No hoops you jump through will calm his fears of your impending infidelity. Just be patient. That’s my advice.

We’ve all gone through our own bouts of crazy and had irrational thoughts; he’s definitely experiencing one of those periods now. If you are as devoted as you say you are, this will pass.

Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!

About Angela Lutin:
Angela Lutin is Essentially Angela. Blogger, Advice Columnist and Dating Guru for the social media age—decoding modern love one tweet, text, and like at a time. Angela’s dating advice column, “The Naked Truth,” appears exclusively each week on bocamag.com and in each issue of Boca Ratonmagazine. Her work appears regularly on the Huffington Post. She can been seen on MTV’s “Made” and Bravo’s hit show, “Millionaire Matchmaker.” Crafting personal dating makeovers for her clients, Angela also maintains a private practice, which turns the romantically challenged into the relationship-inclined. Follow Angela on Facebook or Twitter.

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