I was at dinner with my boyfriend’s family and his father asked me about my political beliefs. Heart attack and a half, right? It never ends well. My boyfriend’s sister changed the subject and I counted my blessings. However, I am having dinner again with them soon and want to know of a way to ease out of the conversation myself. —Lettie
Lettie: Politics is a very personal matter. Some like to broadcast their beliefs while others keep them under wraps. You do have the right to remain silent. If Dad brings up the topic again, it is perfectly acceptable to say, “My personal beliefs are something I don’t care to share publicly.” It is also important to have a conversation with your boyfriend about this now. Let him know you will appreciate his support of your silence on the issue if the conversation should come up again.
My boyfriend talks in his sleep. I’ve heard him ramble off other girl’s names. Should I be worried? —Ann
No. Not at all, in fact. I don’t think anyone should be convicted over what they do in their sleep. If he inadvertently calls you another woman’s name at the dinner table, or worse, in the bedroom, then it’s time to sound the alarm.
Is it normal for a guy to prefer foreplay over sex? —Ro
Ro: I’m not sure how the misconception started, but guys actually like foreplay. A lot. It’s us women that go all “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” on men. I’ve had many conversations with guys on this topic, and the overwhelming consensus is they aren’t satisfied until we are. Sure, they can get to the finish line without us, but men much prefer we win that race. Want to know why? Pleasing a woman makes them feel like a man. And feeling like a man is a huge part of the sexual experience for a guy.
Your question actually brings up a broader topic of what’s “normal” or not with regard to sexual preferences. Sex and sexuality is different for everyone. Libidos are like snowflakes- no two are alike. Labeling desires as abnormal creates a false taboo surrounding sex. What turns me on could be, and probably is, completely different than what excites the next person. That doesn’t make either one of us wrong, just different. And different is, aptly put, normal.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin
On her popular blog, www.essentiallyangela.com, divorced single mom Angela Lutin dispenses musings on life, raising a teen, navigating the single scene, and tips to stay sexy regardless of your age or relationship status. A social media addict, she recently launched her new weekly Twitter conversation @essentiallyang—aptly titled #sexychat—that answers dating, sex-related topics and anything in between. Angela’s “Naked Truth” dating advice column appears weekly on Bocamag.com and also exclusively in Boca Raton magazine. Follow Angela on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/EssentiallyAngela or Twitter, https://twitter.com/essentiallyang.