Angela, I’m a quiet young woman. I live locally. I’m 31 and single. I work with preschool children and like to go running. I feel I lead a satisfying and active life, but I know I am meeker than most. When it comes to dating, especially first dates, I feel like I don’t have a lot to say. I don’t feel I come across very interesting. Do you have any advice? –Ashley
Ashley, how you view yourself directly influences how others view you. Therefore, if you think you are uninteresting, sadly, everyone else will too.
I’m troubled by your description of yourself. You feel as if your opinions and feelings are unimportant. My advice is this: You are spectacular in your own unique way so start thinking like it.
The things in life that we are most passionate about are also the ones that make us the most interesting. You enjoy running and there must be something about teaching young children that fulfills you. It takes a very special person to nurture little people all day. Speak about why it is you do what you do when on your dates. Find those nuggets of your life that make your heart beat faster…the ones you can’t wait to get out of bed and conquer every day. Being excited about your life is what people will find fascinating about you.
P.S. Don’t ever feel like you aren’t interesting. You are. You just have to realize it.
Angela, I’ve read that women hit their sexual peak in their early 30s, but I’m 35 and feel like I haven’t hit it yet. I don’t know what I’m suppose to be feeling, but I certainly have never felt like a tiger or super confident in my own skin. Is there a chance I could peak but just a little later than most? –Red
Red, not everyone needs to be a tiger. In fact, the truth is, most of us are domesticated house cats. The media perpetuates the myth that women in their 30-40’s are swinging from the chandeliers on a nightly basis. Don’t let that be your standard for comparing your sex life.
While it’s true many factors contribute to the sexual self-confidence women gain as they get older (body acceptance, past child bearing age), everyone’s sexual appetite is different. You aren’t “supposed” to be feeling anything other than what you are. Sex drive is as individual as shoe size.
The good news is, you’ve got plenty of time left to start enjoying your sexual revolution. Most women don’t tap into their confidence until they turn 40 or even later.
Remember, even house cats can meow.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin:
Angela Lutin is Essentially Angela. Blogger, Advice Columnist and Dating Guru for the social media age—decoding modern love one tweet, text, and like at a time. Angela’s weekly dating advice column, The Naked Truth, appears exclusively in Boca Raton magazine. Her work appears regularly on the Huffington Post. She can been seen on MTV’s “Made” and Bravo’s hit show, “Millionaire Matchmaker.” Crafting personal dating makeovers for her clients, Angela also maintains a private practice, which turns the romantically challenged into the relationship-inclined. Follow Angela on Facebook,facebook.com/EssentiallyAngela or Twitter, @essentiallyang.