Angela: I am dating a guy who is a lawyer and he has no time for me. He is a little older than I am and says he wants to commit, but is he just stringing me on? How do I know if he is serious about commitment because right now, his actions speak louder than his words.
-Sitting in Silence
The real deal: No matter how busy, overcommitted, stressed, etc. people are, if they want a relationship, they’ll find the time. No time for you = this situation isn’t commitment worthy. I’m sorry to break it to you, but he’s just not that into you. Your options are as follows:
1. Continue on, hoping to get a few moments with him here or there, but quite frankly, why bother? You will become increasingly frantic and desperate for his attention. I’ve told The Naked Truth readers the most invaluable lesson to learn when dating is that DESPERATION REEKS.
2. Do the dumping honors and walk away. You deserve to be with someone that actually wants to reciprocate. If he’s just a poor time manager, that will reveal itself soon enough when he comes back asking for a second chance.
In matters of the heart, actions don’t just speak louder than words. They are everything.
I just started my senior year at FAU, and I seriously think I am in love with the teacher’s assistant in my psychology class. I know we have mutual friends that could connect us on a more personal level. Is it worth making the rest of my semester awkward if things don’t work out between us?
-Hot for Teacher
Dear Hot Stuff,
That depends. Are you mature enough to handle a cordial relationship with exes? Think about your past. Are you friends with former lovers or do you duck under the table when you see them coming? Your patterns should tell you if you can handle it or not. I must add, however, I find people who worry about an ending of a relationship – before there is even a beginning – have trouble just letting things flow. Ask your psychology professor what that means. (I’m just an advice columnist so I have no clue, but I can tell you it’s not a good indication of relationship success.)
Reach out to these mutual friends and get the introduction. See what happens from there. But don’t screw this guy over. He is the one grading your papers.
Do you have a question for Angela? E-mail NakedTruth@bocamag.com!
About Angela Lutin:
Angela Lutin is Essentially Angela. Blogger, Advice Columnist and Dating Guru for the social media age—decoding modern love one tweet, text, and like at a time. Angela’s dating advice column, “The Naked Truth,” appears exclusively each week on bocamag.com and in each issue of Boca Ratonmagazine. Her work appears regularly on the Huffington Post. She can been seen on MTV’s “Made” and Bravo’s hit show, “Millionaire Matchmaker.” Crafting personal dating makeovers for her clients, Angela also maintains a private practice, which turns the romantically challenged into the relationship-inclined. Follow Angela on Facebook or Twitter.