I am just coming off one of those out-of-body blissful weeks on an island in the Bahamas. Roosters crowing, the water 18 colors of turquoise, and a soft wind ruffling coconut palms. As the small plane I was on descended over Fort Lauderdale, a hazy patchwork of tiny houses and street grids stretched as far as the eye could see. Ant-sized cars streamed up an endless I-95.
We were back. Summer was over.
Now, we are in the calm before the storm. The last few weeks before Boca Raton shifts into social overdrive, a juggernaut of black-tie galas, ladies’ luncheons, charity walks, golf tournaments, cocktail receptions, and committee meetings. If you are new here, I’m just warning you that social season is almost upon us—and there are a few things you should know.
Social Order
When I first moved here 35-some years ago, a well-connected southern transplant socialite told me that unlike Charleston or Boston or New York, there was no real social order in town. She said Boca was really like the Wild West, with money—not family name or lineage—serving as the only entrée that affected social standing. I don’t think that’s changed much. I would add that joining things (especially the Junior League) and as many nonprofit boards and committees as possible is an additional way to rapidly amp up one’s social profile.
Social etiquette
Once you join a bunch of nonprofits and volunteer (this applies also if you work full-time), it is imperative to understand the rules of fundraising. Those who give more are more well-received, generally. This is not to undervalue hardworking volunteers; it is just to point out that philanthropy rules in Boca. Giving Big also means you get your name on things, which is revered in Boca Raton. There are coveted “naming rights” to everything here, even things like elevators and light fixtures.
It is also important to understand the idea of reciprocity; there is no such thing as a free luncheon. If your friends buy tables at your gala, you have to buy tables at theirs. The social season therefore is a massive exercise in swapping tables between friends, at least until everyone’s party is sold out.
Consequently, people at the true heart of Boca’s social season go to all of the most important parties. I am not referring to those few (and you know who they are) who go to ab-so-lute-ly everything, from funerals to golf tournaments to balls and Chamber breakfasts. These people don’t give big, but they never miss a free buffet. In fact, they never miss anything. Their faces are everywhere, even on milk cartons, and have nothing to do with the real social heroes. The real social heroes dutifully suit up for all the charity fundraisers. They bid on things. They are also known to stay after dessert is served and actually dance, even after the Motown medley is long over.
Fashion
Hoo boy. It still really is the Wild West here when it comes to fashion. I’m not saying anything goes, but South Florida, and particularly Boca, is not famous for subtlety. Oh sure, you’ll see the occasional Little Black Dress, but you’ll see a lot more of a lot more. Plunging necklines. Shimmering sequins. Lips the size of Mallomars. Ball gowns that put the Met Gala to shame. Dressing up is what we do in Boca during season, so conduct yourself accordingly.
And the Bottom Line
Finally, it might be easy to make fun of Boca’s social season, but it’s even easier to salute it. There are luncheons alone in this city that raise millions of dollars. There are individuals who don’t think twice about throwing a fortune toward this or that good cause. New hospitals are built, thousands of disadvantaged children are sent to college, hungry people throughout the county are fed, and arts and culture are supported. In short, there is nothing Boca Raton won’t do to help those who need it, even if sometimes it looks a little strained in the process. So, buckle up and go forth into this year’s social season with the right mindset: It really is about the giving, not the getting. And that becomes its own reward.
This story is from the September/October 2026 issue of Boca magazine. For more like this, click here to subscribe to the magazine.
